A good heart,
so rare in the world

People try to take advantage of that
because goodness is no longer seen as strength

It is seen as weakness,
naivety

But goodness is power

Because it takes a lot of courage to go against the stream

It is easy to just follow moods like anger,
especially when it is righteous

It is easy to forget that people are people,
not objects,
and that everyone suffers

It is easy to obliterate something
just because it doesn't suit our preferences

But it is difficult to endure
what seems unendurable

It is difficult to be gentle
when others are harsh

It is difficult to look beyond the narrow circle called "self"
and empathise

Even so,
for goodness to be true power,
it has to be wise

That wisdom is solid and protective
It is sharp and pierces through

So be gentle and kind;
do not let the cruel world make you heartless

This does not mean giving in
and being exploited --
sometimes true love requires establishing your heart
in good intention
and hitting someone squarely on the head

Be soft
but firm
like water that flows
and cuts through the toughest rock


(Photo by Leo Rivas on Unsplash)

At some point you get tired of living like a zombie

At some point you want to stop filling your brain with mundane crap
At some point you want to taste your food when you're eating

At some point you want to give more time to the profound
Over the trivial

At some point you want to stop distracting yourself from life
From the present
Whether or not it's painful
Or god forbid, boring
Because being with it means
You are alive
And that you know that

At some point you want to stop resisting
Everything that comes your way
Even if it sucks, even if you don't like it
Because it's just too hard to keep pushing

At some point you want to learn how to live in complete love
Make friends with the world
Because when you leave this place, you leave blameless
Otherwise you're coming back
To wrap up unfinished business

At some point you want to just be real with people man
Go past the how-you-going-good-thanks roleplay
At some point you want to talk about how life is actually quite sad

At some point you want to put it all down
Because it's just too heavy otherwise

At some point it has to be enough

At some point you want to go beyond what the six senses can give you
Look deep into this mind that you think you know
Because at the end of life, when the body shuts down --
What can you depend on for security but your awareness?

At some point you ask yourself why you're here
Why you put up with this neverending drone
This Groundhog Day, really

You take a step back and look
Everyday is the same, so where do you find meaning?
Are you satisfied just going on like this?
Where do you find the fulfillment that is so promised in movies?
Good food -- does it really taste that good?
Good looks -- how long does that last?
True love -- and what is that?

Where is it?

Always here and now.

The meaning is in the knowing.
Because if you don't know,
You're as good as dead,
You're a zombie

Maybe life is about answering those questions
Why were you born
Why are you here
Why do we suffer
And what does it all mean

Okay I don't know why I'm doing this right now. It's the middle of take-home exam week and I have a thing due on Friday and I've decided to write this post in the ERC library. Taking a quick break from my take-home exam so thought I'd write this quickly.

Today I've been turning up the metta dial. Today is one of those days where you wake up from a nightmare that plays on your mind even in waking moments of the day and feel like crying at any given moment. Therefore turning up the metta dial to full blast is the only way I know how to cope with the conditions of the mind today.

I told myself, metta for everything that arises. I told myself to make it a game. Can you live every moment in complete love? Can you respond to everything with metta? Everytime you do, you win merit / happiness points.

Gotta do stuff like that man, life is just too heavy otherwise.

During Q&A after the meditation session on robe-offering ceremony day, someone told the Ajahns they were dealing with disturbing thoughts that kept arising out of the blue without their control. They asked how to get rid of it permanently.

Ajahn Hāsapañño giggled. I can't even remember what he said because the fact that he laughed was more of a statement to me. I think it's because you can't obliterate your thoughts like that, and not "permanently". I think even the Noble Ones have to deal with sankharas (mental formations), but the difference is they don't pick it up and own it. So the solution is not to get rid of it. Not yours in the first place.

Ajahn Bom chimed in, with his limited English, which makes it all the more endearing because whatever he has to say is just then so simple and so precious. I think he said he had been dealing with some unwholesome thoughts that morning / the night before as well in his kuti, and it just wouldn't stop arising. So then he thought to himself, "This thinking - I can have metta for it too. If you want to stay, you can stay. And you can go when you want to go."

Dude.

Like, okay. I think you need to be there to feel the significance of what he said. Ajahn Bom is one of the most harmless and joyful monks I've ever met. He has this childlike innocence and purity to him, very gentle and kind. So when he said that, it was just like. Yes. Of course. Gentleness is the only way.

Complete receiving. Meeting everything with kindness.

Because then there is space and lightness, instead of suffering upon suffering.

I think that's what I've been trying to do today. Whatever arises, it's okay. You can stay as long as you like. And you may go as you please. You can burst into a fountain of tears if you like. You can feel broken and battered if you like. All good. None of my business.

Also, okay, a super quick one. The other day Ajahn Hāsapañño was telling epic stories of meeting wild animals in the forest. He told of Ajahn Gunha, who is reputed for his epic metta.

So the king cobra is the scariest animal in the forest. It will just strike, it looks for trouble, unlike other snakes who usually mind their own business. Super deadly. One time a king cobra went up to Ajahn Gunha and stood up and faced him. Ajahn Gunha just petted its head and said "Thank you for coming to visit me". Metta on full blast. Then it slithered to the next monk and did the same, and that monk was scared out of his wits obviously.

Dude. I WANT TO BE THAT BADASS AND POWERFUL. Like how much peace you would have had to make within yourself to make friends with a king cobra, you know what I mean? In that way you overcome all enemies. I CANNOT. It's just so badass. You're untouchable with boundless metta. Oh man my heart.

Okokokok, back to Japanese youth problems.

Big Metta! 💖