Okay I don't know why I'm doing this right now. It's the middle of take-home exam week and I have a thing due on Friday and I've decided to write this post in the ERC library. Taking a quick break from my take-home exam so thought I'd write this quickly.

Today I've been turning up the metta dial. Today is one of those days where you wake up from a nightmare that plays on your mind even in waking moments of the day and feel like crying at any given moment. Therefore turning up the metta dial to full blast is the only way I know how to cope with the conditions of the mind today.

I told myself, metta for everything that arises. I told myself to make it a game. Can you live every moment in complete love? Can you respond to everything with metta? Everytime you do, you win merit / happiness points.

Gotta do stuff like that man, life is just too heavy otherwise.

During Q&A after the meditation session on robe-offering ceremony day, someone told the Ajahns they were dealing with disturbing thoughts that kept arising out of the blue without their control. They asked how to get rid of it permanently.

Ajahn Hāsapañño giggled. I can't even remember what he said because the fact that he laughed was more of a statement to me. I think it's because you can't obliterate your thoughts like that, and not "permanently". I think even the Noble Ones have to deal with sankharas (mental formations), but the difference is they don't pick it up and own it. So the solution is not to get rid of it. Not yours in the first place.

Ajahn Bom chimed in, with his limited English, which makes it all the more endearing because whatever he has to say is just then so simple and so precious. I think he said he had been dealing with some unwholesome thoughts that morning / the night before as well in his kuti, and it just wouldn't stop arising. So then he thought to himself, "This thinking - I can have metta for it too. If you want to stay, you can stay. And you can go when you want to go."

Dude.

Like, okay. I think you need to be there to feel the significance of what he said. Ajahn Bom is one of the most harmless and joyful monks I've ever met. He has this childlike innocence and purity to him, very gentle and kind. So when he said that, it was just like. Yes. Of course. Gentleness is the only way.

Complete receiving. Meeting everything with kindness.

Because then there is space and lightness, instead of suffering upon suffering.

I think that's what I've been trying to do today. Whatever arises, it's okay. You can stay as long as you like. And you may go as you please. You can burst into a fountain of tears if you like. You can feel broken and battered if you like. All good. None of my business.

Also, okay, a super quick one. The other day Ajahn Hāsapañño was telling epic stories of meeting wild animals in the forest. He told of Ajahn Gunha, who is reputed for his epic metta.

So the king cobra is the scariest animal in the forest. It will just strike, it looks for trouble, unlike other snakes who usually mind their own business. Super deadly. One time a king cobra went up to Ajahn Gunha and stood up and faced him. Ajahn Gunha just petted its head and said "Thank you for coming to visit me". Metta on full blast. Then it slithered to the next monk and did the same, and that monk was scared out of his wits obviously.

Dude. I WANT TO BE THAT BADASS AND POWERFUL. Like how much peace you would have had to make within yourself to make friends with a king cobra, you know what I mean? In that way you overcome all enemies. I CANNOT. It's just so badass. You're untouchable with boundless metta. Oh man my heart.

Okokokok, back to Japanese youth problems.

Big Metta! 💖